Holiday Blues: Coping With Difficult Times and People
Let’s be real. Everyone’s holiday experiences aren’t all merry and jolly. For some holidays are a time of deep pain and sorrow due to a variety of reasons. While so many people are all things joy, I’d like to encourage you to hold space for those in your life who may not be experiencing the “magic” of this holiday season. Everyone isn’t out here intentionally being a party pooper. Many people have valid reasons or concerns related to why they are unable to experience true joy this time of year and well, that’s okay.
A hate or dislike for holidays usually comes from some form of trauma or bad experience. People don’t typically just wake up and decide that today is a good day to be the grinch who stole Christmas. Some of the things that may be experienced by those who aren’t really feeling the holidays include but are not limited to, poor relationships with family or estrangement form family, hurtful family secrets, grief or loss of loved ones, dissatisfaction with where you are currently in life and feeling anxious about the possibility of someone asking you about it over the holidays and or, unresolved issues of your past that may be triggered when in certain settings or around certain people.
Healing from trauma, loss and or disappointment is not always an easy fix and can often take years to accomplish. Given that fact, chances are, you know someone who may be having a hard time this time of year.
If you or someone you know may be dealing with Holiday Blues this time of year, My hope is that something in this post will encourage you and help you to better manage what you feel. Here are some tips to help you get through it.
1. Surround yourself with the people who bring you joy and make you laugh
2. Acknowledge what you feel and when you feel it. Don't force yourself to go if you don't truly want to, and don't force yourself to stay if you start to feel like you shouldn't be there.
3. If dealing with grief/ come up with traditions to celebrate your loved one’s life. Reflect on the good memories you had with them and find ways to honor those things.
4. Decide what your limits are and stick to them. If you don't want to answer questions about your life. Don't. If you don't want to engage in certain conversation topics. Don't.
5. Bring along a support person such as a friend or significant other to help you feel more comfortable in whatever environment you will be in.
6. Talk with a therapist about your concerns, anxieties, frustrations, and emotions. Therapy can help you to sort through your feelings and help you to identify the best solutions for your concerns for this time of year.
At the end of the day, Give yourself space and permission to just be. You don't have to pretend for anyone or enter into spaces that feel unsafe or uncomfortable, or do things you don't desire to do. Instead, really think through what it is that you desire for yourself this time of year, and what realistic things might make you most happy. Engage in those things. Sometimes that may look like spending holidays with friends instead of family and sometimes that may look like spending the holidays alone. Never apologize for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and make sure that you are well.
While people do tend to make a big deal out of holidays, it is important to remember that holidays are just days. Remembering the fact that these same days may not even be acknowledged in other countries, may help to take some of the pressure off. At the end of the day, you deserve to be true to who you are and what you feel, even if that means you sit this one out.
Our Team of Licensed and Trained Therapist are ready to assist you with better managing Holiday Blues and the emotions that come along with it. Request To Start Services Today.
